The spring has vanished without even starting. Sleep, eternal sleep, infinite sleep is what I was submerged in last months. Morbid, white air around, whispers behind my back. And nothing more.
And when I say nothing, I mean it. What did I dream last year, what caused all those pathetic words about spring being not a state of nature, but an uncurable condition? Bullshit, complete and utter bullshit. There are no fairies, no daydreams, no sunlight, no lemons and whirpools. Were they at all? I am already not sure.
The only thing that is real, that seems real, that feels real is the silence. Transparent, solid as crystal, inhibiting any sound, word or touch. Crystal cage it is, crystal walls around me. The Lawyer of Glass himself could be envying me for becoming so softly insane being completely sane.
And yet I do not seem to go well with it all anymore. Crystal is solid, it never was as fragile as it looks. So was my voice before. Now I am mute and only able to murmur.
~ by Anna on June 2, 2011.